Japanese family customs (Year of Meat)

As I'm reading My Year of Meats by Ruth Ozeki, I observe the life of one of the main characters, Akiko; and what her relationship is like with her husband Joichi. I must admit I am a little concerned on what exactly makes up for an ideal Japanese marriage, home life and in their community. Now, I can honestly say that I only know very little on what exactly goes on in a typical Japanese family. I know that the husband is the head of the family, I guess the wife is suppose to be quiet and obedient (if I am wrong about any of this, please let me know) as are the children. From just reading the book I feel that a lot of crap is placed on the wives; not just in a clean the house and cook the dinner kind of way, I mean that they have to do all the house work, take care of the kids and then, this is the part that feels weird, the women take all the brunt of their husbands. When the man had a bad day of work the wife not only is supposed to make him feel better (I think all good spouses are supposed to do that) but it seems the Japanese wife has some sort of blame put on her that she has to apologize to him. Am I wrong? Is poor Akiko an exception and she's just married to an abusive asshole? The whole tense relationship she has with Joichi (I do suppose the whole "can't conceive" thing is sort of making things harder) just feels wrong. Why is Akiko so trapped? I believe that divorce is frowned upon pretty harshly in Japan, so perhaps she does not want to be a social pariah? It makes me really feel for the character, to be so helpless and alone.